You came so close to the answer, you ran right past it!
As you've said, the stiffness coefficient is defined as force over distance: how much force you need to apply to deflect an object (a beam or a spring, for example) in a given way a certain distance.
As you correctly derived, the deflection at the point of a beam under a distributed load is
$$\delta = \dfrac{pL^4}{8EI}$$
Now, that's actually basically the answer right there, actually. It's saying that if you apply a distributed load $p$ over a beam, it will deflect in a given way a certain distance $\delta$. That's really close to our definition of a stiffness coefficient above, except that here we're talking about a distributed load instead of a force.
So, how can we convert this distributed load to a force? You actually tried too hard. All we have to do is calculate the total load $P$ created by the distributed load, which you correctly derived as
$$P = pL$$
And we're done. There's no need to perform any sort of transformation to the force's location or anything. If we just plug that into the deflection equation, we get
$$\begin{align}
\delta &= \dfrac{PL^3}{8EI} \\
\therefore \dfrac{P}{\delta} &\equiv k = \dfrac{8EI}{L^3}
\end{align}$$
Huzzah.
The thing to remember here is that stiffness coefficients are unique to the exact loading and boundary configuration given, and to the specific point they are calculated for. If you convert a distributed load into a concentrated one and calculate the resulting deflection, you'll get a different stiffness coefficient (after all, a beam under distributed loading deflects differently from one under a concentrated load). If you use that same beam with the same loading, but calculate the deflection at midspan, you'll get another stiffness coefficient. None of these coefficients are wrong, they're just correct for different cases.
So calculating the stiffness coefficient is the easy step: calculate the deflection at the desired point, sum up the total force applied throughout the entire structure, and then divide the deflection by that.